Something needs to change

On Friday I had a meeting with the agency that my son is affiliated with. This agency provides housing, meals and therapy outside the home. My son joined the meeting as this was about him, and as he sat there I could see his eyes glaze over with board um. As I observed his reactions to questions I realized that he doesn't get it. I think I seemed to be the only one who saw this as I was the one who stopped and asked if he understood. The meeting went on for 2 hours, with Chad taking several breaks, playing with his phone, and discussing his "new bike". It ended with Chad signing papers to take part in various workshops to help him learn how to control his anger, and learn how to cook, a goal of his. He complained about all of the signing and wished he could hand write his signature. I told him to get used to signing papers, as an adult he will have to do that a lot.
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After the meeting I tried to digest what had been discussed. It boggled my mind how an agency who is there to help young adults to become more independent, just sit by and enable them. It also surprises me how people who work within this agency see my son as an able adult! It is quite a oxymoron when the young adult is disabled enough to require an assisted living program, but able enough to make life decisions for himself.

Okay, I know some people are saying that I am being unfair and labeling my son, hindering his independence. But when my son was offered the choice of attending programs that would increase his independence he said NO, and that was fine with the agency!The reason, because he is an adult and we can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. What, really?  My son needs to learn, this is why he is there, he isn't ready to be independent, but is ready to learn the skills he needs. Both my son and I want him to live on his own one day. But with people not making him do what he needs to do, this goal will never be achieved.

Some decisions need to be guided by someone who is older than him. Not me personally but someone with his best interests in mind. When this isn't being done, because they see him as an "adult", then something is wrong in the system.

I was always told that when your son gets older he will receive all the help he needs, well I am still waiting for that to happen. Even if our children become adults, we should be able to have a voice in what we feel is best for them. Parents rights should not be taken from them. We are the ones who know are children best. Someone needs to re-evaluate the system, and fill in the gaps that our children have fallen into all their lives.