Marriage: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

When I was little I often dreamed of who I would marry, where we would live and how wonderful our life would be. Like most girls I guess I did want the fairytale live happily ever after. No one tells you the truth about marriage.

My husband and I lived together before we married, for four years, so I figured that I knew what I was getting into and marriage I felt was the right step to take. We had a small church wedding and a huge low key party to celebrate. No honeymoon, really couldn't afford one and in reality didn't need one.

Within the first year, we became pregnant with our first son. This is where the challenges began. Having a baby so soon in our marriage had a devastating effect on my husband. I became enamoured with my son and soon forgot about my husband. Leaving him behind to fend for himself. As I look back I can see how this must have hurt him, even if I unintentionally made him feel this way.

The next couple of years we settled into a comfortable routine and became a family, my husband was finally getting attention and things were good. We became pregnant again, this pregnancy, however, was not to end well. We lost our daughter the day after she was born. This was a blow to our marriage, it could have destroyed it or made it stronger. I am thankful that it made it stronger. I feel that you need to have a strong bond to make a marriage last. You need to hold on to each other during the bad times, we had our share.

 We had another son a year later and finally felt complete. Through the years, we had many difficulties, many illnesses and times of turmoil. But through it all we have stayed together, we are the minority.

For many couples today I feel that too many call it quits when something tough comes along. They don't realize that marriage takes work. There are many times when you just have to be that stronger person and take the high road. Many times I've had to leave the room, or just stay quiet as to not make an argument out of something. Really it comes down to the big things, are you willing to stay and fight for your marriage through, death, illness, and no money. Life is tough so you have to be tough too. This is what marriage is, to be with someone who is willing to be there with you through all these times.

My husband and I have been together for 29 years, married for 24, we have stuck it out through all our difficulties and differences. It hasn't been easy, even today we have our challenges. Marriage should not be taken lightly, but it should be considered a commitment forever. No, it's not the fairytale we all have imagined, its what you make it. So consider if you are ready to put in the hard work through the good, the bad and the ugly.