A road not easily traveled

Label it whichever way you want, brain damage, brain injury or head injury it all produces the same effect in our children. You can guide these children through life but the time comes when you know they have to merge into the mainstream of society and become as independent as they can be. I am finding out it is a road not easily traveled.



We are told that this is the best gift you can give your child but you find yourself staring into an abyss that scares the hell out of you. Is this going to be the best thing for a child that I have mothered his whole life? How will he manage on his own? Will he know enough to stay safe? These are just a few of the questions that arise when your brain damaged child turns the magical number of eighteen. This is where I stand with my son at the moment.



It is not an easy place to be. Worries become your constant companion as you try to find your way through the maze of paper work that will provide an income for your child. You are looking for that perfect group home that will give him his first experience of semi- independent living and hoping that he has absorbed enough lessons over the years to let him make the right choices.



Should you let him go or should you hold onto him just a little longer? Maybe another month would be the magical time that his mind will catch up to his body. You are torn apart with what is best for him and the fear you feel. He has been taught that he has to work to live. Directing him in the right path will be painfully hard on both of you. Some places of work that he applies for will not hire him due to his brain damage while others that will hire him will probably find ways to let him go merely due to the fact they do not understand his condition.



This is the place I find myself in at the moment. So many thoughts running through my head but the main one is if I am doing the right thing. My children are my life but a child with brain damage is a child you have devoted your life to. An investment can hopefully be rewarded once you see him coping with the independence that lies ahead.

Denise