Our Angel

Last week was my only daughters birthday and the anniversary of her death. It's been seventeen years since we lost her. Hope was her name, born with a Neural Tube Defect, which resulted in facial, brain and organ deformities, that ultimately took her young life.

Throughout my pregnancy I had nothing but hope, hope that she would be healthy, that the many doctors were somehow wrong, hope that we could manage all of her special needs and she would live. We didn't find out until I was seven months pregnant with her, that there was a problem. Even when I went into premature labour, we were still clueless. This was the second pregnancy for us, our first was our precious little boy who was now almost three.

Being from a rural Newfoundland out port we had to travel over an hour to the hospital where we would be told the seriousness of our situation. Abruptly loaded into an ambulance and rushed into a large city, where special doctors can try to help save my unborn daughter.

Ultimately after trying all we could to save our beautiful little girl, she lost her battle the day after she was born. It's been seventeen years and I think about her often. I used to think of her every single day, but as the years flew by life got in the way. Moving away, starting a new life, raising my oldest son, and welcoming a new addition to our family a year later with the birth of our youngest son.

Life has a funny way of turning out. I found the career I love, have been blessed with two wonderful boys who are now 15 and 19. It has been difficult and I did suffer with depression for a couple of years. I still think of my daughter and the reason why she was brought into our lives. I believe she was here to teach us about unconditional love, selflessness, and faith. It's only now after so many years that I can look back without pain in my heart and faith that we will be together again one day.

Hope Brandi Carol Neville 01\11\95 - 01\12\95